Past returns

I few years ago, I felt like I had to defend everything I ever said or did. It did not matter that I was not the one lying or cheating, I was the one to blame because I showed emotions. I did not react the way I was supposed to. It coast me money, school, friends, sailing and almost my life. Today I was sucked back into that time over a mistake. Now I just feel empty. The fact that even after all I  have been through and people still think that I would cheat and lie...I feel like I'm lock up in that room with no way out..