Going home for a few days

Old sailing projects

From Black and Red

I woke with a start for the room felt cold, misty in a way. The covers were pilled around me but I was freezing, The day had been a blur. The funeral, the sadness. It all sank in again. You were gone, you chose to be gone and I had to deal with it. "I'm sorry" ,was the next thing I heard,"I'm sorry". I pulled the covers back to see a figure at the foot of my bed but I was not afraid, I knew who it was. Even in the dark he seemed pale and sad not the man I remembered. He shirt was socked with blood. "I'm sorry", was all he said. I stared at him for what seemed like hours until he faded into the dark, then for the first time in five days I cried. Was it a dream? To this day I can't say and for me it never really mattered..

I'm not invisible, I'm standing right in front you. Something blinds, keeps you in a fog and you walk by continuing your search while I stand right in front of you screaming for your attention.
Invisible to all it seems, not just you.

Past returns

I few years ago, I felt like I had to defend everything I ever said or did. It did not matter that I was not the one lying or cheating, I was the one to blame because I showed emotions. I did not react the way I was supposed to. It coast me money, school, friends, sailing and almost my life. Today I was sucked back into that time over a mistake. Now I just feel empty. The fact that even after all I  have been through and people still think that I would cheat and lie...I feel like I'm lock up in that room with no way out..